Indian President-elect publishes findings

Women took to the purdah for protection from Mughal invaders, claims renowned Mughal historian Pratibha Patil in her new book The Purdah Protectorate. The feminist scholar is also first in line to the seat of President of India, after being nominated from the women's quota in the Houses of Parliament. However, another Mughal historian, William Darlymple rubbished the findings - "She just wants to sell her books."

Ms. Patil was not available for comment as she was communing with ghosts on Mt. Abu.

Britain - Golden Brown?

Barely hours after Gordon Brown took over as the new PM of the United Kindgom, the OWD has come across a government directive to promote the Golden Brown (Pluvialis apricaria) as the national bird. Mr. James Finch, Secretary of Bird-Brained, a pan-UK ornithology society, said, "This is an outrage! We simply cannot have a national bird. There are too many of them and Britain is a democratic nation!"

The Golden Brown

There was a similar move in the eighties to give the Common Garden Thatcher (Psittacula firmicus) the same status, which went out owing to massive public discontent.

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Page3: Wimbledon

Winning streak

Tupua Tamasese is new O le Ao o le Malo

June 16, Samoa: Tupua Tamasese Tupuola Tufuga Efi has been elected as the new O le Ao o le Malo (Head of State) of Samoa after an unusually long meeting of the Fono (Parliament). Despite his being the only name in contention, the session lasted for over two hours. A lesser-named source informs us that this was due to the mandatory roll-call of members present and a stuttering speaker. Tupua Tamasese is also a two-time Tra la la la La (Prime Minister).

Editor: The OWD apologises for the one-week delay in reporting. This was due to difficulties in locating Samoa on the planet.

Quiz: Photographer?

From L to R: DG Rossetti, Lord Tennyson and little girl.
By a pioneering photographer, famous in another field. Who?

LEWIS CARROLL.

First in was Amy.
Details of the prize.