Indian President-elect publishes findings

Women took to the purdah for protection from Mughal invaders, claims renowned Mughal historian Pratibha Patil in her new book The Purdah Protectorate. The feminist scholar is also first in line to the seat of President of India, after being nominated from the women's quota in the Houses of Parliament. However, another Mughal historian, William Darlymple rubbished the findings - "She just wants to sell her books."

Ms. Patil was not available for comment as she was communing with ghosts on Mt. Abu.

Britain - Golden Brown?

Barely hours after Gordon Brown took over as the new PM of the United Kindgom, the OWD has come across a government directive to promote the Golden Brown (Pluvialis apricaria) as the national bird. Mr. James Finch, Secretary of Bird-Brained, a pan-UK ornithology society, said, "This is an outrage! We simply cannot have a national bird. There are too many of them and Britain is a democratic nation!"

The Golden Brown

There was a similar move in the eighties to give the Common Garden Thatcher (Psittacula firmicus) the same status, which went out owing to massive public discontent.

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Page3: Wimbledon

Winning streak

Tupua Tamasese is new O le Ao o le Malo

June 16, Samoa: Tupua Tamasese Tupuola Tufuga Efi has been elected as the new O le Ao o le Malo (Head of State) of Samoa after an unusually long meeting of the Fono (Parliament). Despite his being the only name in contention, the session lasted for over two hours. A lesser-named source informs us that this was due to the mandatory roll-call of members present and a stuttering speaker. Tupua Tamasese is also a two-time Tra la la la La (Prime Minister).

Editor: The OWD apologises for the one-week delay in reporting. This was due to difficulties in locating Samoa on the planet.

Quiz: Photographer?

From L to R: DG Rossetti, Lord Tennyson and little girl.
By a pioneering photographer, famous in another field. Who?

LEWIS CARROLL.

First in was Amy.
Details of the prize.

In Concert

The Fund My Education Charity Concert, will take place on July 7th, organisers announced today. The concert will feature the greatest names in rock music, including Bob Dylan, U2, Coldplay and Elvis Presley.

All proceeds from the concert will go towards funding the further education of Pariah.

World Music Day

The summer solstice plays host to the Fête de la Musique, a festival that began in France in 1982 and since has been celebrated in many more countries. The OWD participates in this festival of music and freedom and offers to its readers, -

The gift of free music - Limewire.

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Poll: CAD voted tops

Tim Buckley's webcomic on the absolutely normal daily lives of gamers, Ctrl+Alt+Del, has won the OWD poll on the most popular webcomic. The poll was conducted among OWD readers and included lots of other webcomics as well.

Some reader opinions:

"Ethan reminds me of myself" - Ethan

"I think Zeke has dreaamy eyes" - Anonymous reader

Have an opinion on CAD? Post it here.

Page3: Mischa Barton

The OWD features the eyes of Mischa Barton.

And her hair.

And her nice green dress.

No Sir, or we kill

The BBC received a video late this evening showing an unidentified gunman holding a gun to the head of the abducted British High Commissioner to Pakistan. The gunman is shown shouting threats in Arabic: "Al hilal halal jihad mujaffar" (translation unavailable). This follows an official statement of displeasure by the Pakistan Govt about the British Govt's decision to knight controversial Indian-born author Salman Rushdie.

Here for more on this...

Related News:
British High Commissioner to Pakistan abducted.
Salman Rushdie to be knighted.