Thursday 25 December 2008

Ad: Shutdown II


SHUTDOWN II
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Monday 15 December 2008

Poll: Top books of 2008

Brrisngiriesr, the third instalment in the Plagiarism Cycle by Christopher Paolini, has topped the OWD readers list of books published in 2008. The book, the title of which means 'fire' in the fictional language of Alagaƫsia, starts off from where the second ends, with the little boy slaying the dragon and earning a pendant. Regarding the result, Paolini had this to say: "Glaedrua cedgher mrdgaleona!"

How To Write Your Own Will, a self-help book by Vladimir Goofhausen that has been a rage with octagenarians and cancer patients, was second. Coming third was The 3 Mistakes of My Life, by Chetan Bhagat. It is a complex reflexive narrative of three books the author has written in his life.

Friday 5 December 2008

Terrorists Chase Tourists out of God's Own Country

And as for the recent terror strikes in Mumbai, Kerala's tourism industry, already reeling beneath the impact of global recession, appears to have taken a devastating blow. The Tourism Working Group for Crisis Management estimates that there will be a fall of at least 30 percent in the arrival of foreign tourists this year, despite falling crude oil prices, desperately slashed tourist package rates, special offers on 'curative and restorative' Ayurveda packets, and even the Kerala Tourism Development Council's recent announcement to set up India's first marina at Bolghatty Isle in Kochi, to cater to booming yacht tourism and leisure boating activities.
Industry bigwigs, worried that the locals will cash in on the plummetting costs of a luxury holiday in God's Own Country, are keen to sustain the image of a high-end tourist destination.

The OWD, for its part, suggests to its largely proletariat readers, that the time is ripe for a luxury holiday in Kerala.

keralatourism.org, the official website of the Tourism Department, for its part, congratulates itself on winning the PC World Web Award, 2008.

Friday 21 November 2008

Michael Jackson now Mikaeel

Popstar Michael Jackson, singer of such hits as Black or White and Man or Woman, has converted to Islam, declaring that it was the religion closest to his personal beliefs. The news has left people across the world scratching their heads, wondering which part of plastic surgery, paedophilia or the moonwalk was endorsed by Islamic theology. Jackson has also, in affirmation, changed his name to Mikaeel and built a mosque in Bahrain. A friend of the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer hoped that Mikaeel would help repair the extremist image of Islam by lending his face to the faith.

Saturday 15 November 2008

Page3: Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum in a kali suit.

Saturday 8 November 2008

Geelani Spitter may be Llama in Disguise

From our Legal Desk:

Prof. Geelani, it is understood, plans to initiate legal proceedings against ABVP and its activists who fired phlegmatic criticism at his face during his seminar on communalism. While Mr. Sam Menon, renowned legal counsel of the Calcutta High Court is appearing on behalf of the professor, the OWD has reasons to believe that the ABVP activist will present his own defence. Intense and uncontrollable salival activity, laid down in S.23 of the IPC, is being taken up as a defence. Both parties have refused to comment on the merits of the case.

ABVP Statement: “We protested peacefully, maybe a few stones were thrown, that’s all. Our party condemns spitting at any level.”